COD4: Tip of the Day

The letter "M" by itself is harmless. Coupled with the number 16, however, it's lethal.

And gay.
I'm talking about the M-16: the most discussed weapon in Call of Duty 4. Of all the Assault Rifles, it is the best in accuracy, damage, range, and recoil. Only one burst and you're dead.

Some say that there is no way to beat this gun. I say, "Fuck them." Yes, I'm going to show you (multiple) ways to beat the M-16.

• Quit
• The easy way out. Save yourself the misery and move on.

• Fight Fire with Fire
  
• Pull out the M-16 yourself or pick one up.

• Fire on Top of Fire?
• Juggernaut. [*Caution: known side effects include sucking dick and interior decorating]

• Embarrassment
• Equip the most "noob" class ever. I mean, "MP44 with Bomb Squad and Eavesdrop." All it takes is one kill with this setup and magically, the opposing player will disappear.
  

• Teamwork
• It may take 3 of you to kill that 1 guy with an M-16, but the job was finished.

So that's it! Now, go show 'em who's straight!

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*Update*

The first debate headlining our "Partially Problematic" segment is well underway. Currently in draft status, it is sitting comfortably behind schoolwork. Yes, school comes first!

Grand Theft Auto: IV has a HUGE midnight release and all of us will be attending a local GameStop to purchase our copies.

A Glimpse into the Future:

• Publish of first debate
• More artwork
• More COD4 tips
• GTA: IV review

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Y'All Got Dat?

http://img293.imageshack.us/my.php?image=ygt2008winao1.jpg

Possibly this year's winner.

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This Lancer's My Lancer...

From the Escalation, to the Tyro Station.
Playin' Warzone,
Or Assassination...

This Lancer's made for you and me.

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COD4: Tip of the Day

Lately I've encountered more players using LMGs (Light Machine Guns). As a result, I'm constantly getting the "Spray and Pray" treatment.

As much as I find this annoying, one has to remember the 2 weaknesses of an LMG user - mobility and reload time. Let's exploit 'em.

Equipping 3x Stun Grenades to Perk 1 is just nasty. Toss one at an LMG noob and he couldn't shake a drop of piss from his c**k.

It's easy to catch one in the middle of a reload, but for insult to injury...

Should you walk over an LMG, swap it for out your pistol. Now, empty the clip of the LMG. You know that LMG guy is gonna stumble upon it at some point for more ammo...when he picks it up, he'll be forced to reload. Bait...and switch.


Enjoy!
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Heavenly Sword

Art/Sketch credited to Bridget Moran.

WoW bordem

So after playing World of Warcraft for a little less than a month again, its become shockingly painful to realize that all the game is now is a cooldown dump. The matches have steadily degraded from well timed CC (crowd control) and steady damage, to a cooldown dump. Taking too much damage? BoP + PS. Need that damage burst? PI + heroism/blood lust. Just taking time to vent, wts cooldowns.

Competition!

Art/Sketch credited to Ed Lupp.

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The World According to Ed...

...the next iteration of Rockstar's Midnight Club series just got an official release date.

For more info, click here.

"Back in the day..." I held numerous records for online wins and time trials. To my knowledge, 3 of my fastest times have yet to be beaten.

My vehicle of choice? Not the fastest car in the game, the Lamborghini Murcielago:










September is going to own. And so am I.
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We Have an Artist!

Art/Drawing credited to Bridget Moran

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Update

Shockingly, I'm a currently full-time student. For those of you who actually read this blog, I apologize for the lack of updates. Shortly, however, I will get the ball rolling.

I have preview of things to come:

• "Partially Problematic" - the title of the upcoming debate sessions between me and my fiance, Bridget. We'll be going head-to-head on such topics as "Oblivion: RPG or Adventure game?" and "Casual Games - good or bad for the industry?"

• Artwork - submissions of game-inspired drawings and sketches.

• Charlie Oscar Delta - my look into the world of Call of Duty 4. Remember, you can always visit the forums.

Thanks!

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Live Blogging - Idiots Next to Me

The following is a conversation of these two retards (morons, dumbasses, etc.) sitting next to me in the Computer Lab...

Woman: So what classes you be takin'?
Man: Man, like all of 'em.

Woman: Like Maf' and shit?
Man: I dunno, I ain't even registered yet.

Woman: When you gettin' signeded up?
Man: I think today, I not sure.

Woman: Ahh, dats coo'.
Man: I guess. Wutchu be needin'?

Woman: Well I just switched my major to Business.
Man: Oh, why's dat?

Woman: Cuz of my pregnancy and shit.
Man: Dats coo'.

Woman: Where da' baf-room a'?
Man: Shiiiiiiiit...

Woman: Let's go find it and prin' dis shi' oww.
Man: A'ite.


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Houston, Wii Have a Problem...

Wii-make (n.) - A slang used to describe a video game (or series of such) that has been redone or reworked to play on the Nintendo Wii. Typically used in derogatory fashion, Wii-makes are often used to "milk franchises" and/or are viewed as "Garbage from 360/PS3."

For every word in this sentence, I can find a Nintendo "Wii-make."

Big Brain Academy, Destroy All Humans, Fire Emblem, House of the Dead, Legend of Zelda, Mario Kart, Mario Party, Mario Strikers, Okami, Pokemon Battle Revolution, Resident Evil 4, and Wario Ware

But...who am I to argue? The Nintendo Wii is still selling at the speed of light, their software developers are amazing (Godlike?) in the midst of out-running(?) Microsoft and Sony.

Previously, I stipulated that for each of my "Next/New-Gen" blogs, each console was grated only one freebie in the Flame War(s). Well, f**k that. I'll take as many cheap shots at Nintendo as I want.

Let's begin...

• Online service needs a makeover - badly.
  
1. Voice chat in any online multiplayer game is no longer an option, it's necessary.
   
2. Out with friend codes - the only numbers that should be in your online name are 420 and 69.
   
3. Still concerned about the well-being of your audience? Start with an online service charge, give us a quick-mute (voice) option, and sell headsets to people 18 and up.
   

• There is a place for all of those mini-game compilations.
  
1. The trash.
2. Take every one of those developers and have them work on finding those last-minute bugs/glitches in a soon-to-be-release game; or form a NEW development team and put them to work on a BRAND NEW game/series.
   

• Reinvent the term "Killer App."
  
1. It's disturbing that (virtually) every Wii owner thinks the only game on the console is Wii Sports. This is a terrible realization because those (every) Wii owner won't buy any software thinking they've already got the best title.
2. Smash Brothers isn't your saving grace. Neither is Wii Fit. (O RLY?)
3. The point is that people need to start buying the Wii for its game library, not its Nintendo Fanboy base. Having AAA-quality titles seriously helps the cause.
   

• Fulfill your promises!
  
1. Such as bundling a Wii Zapper feat. "Link's Crossbow Training" with your console.
2. Your online act is as together as these guys. When I have to make an account with EA in order to "experience" and play one of their (Wii) games online, you should send me a rope to hang myself.
   

• Forgiveness starts with...
  
1. Rechargeable battery packs that comes standard with each console.
2. Elite Beat Agents - port it to the Wii. Yes, I'm aware of my own contradiction, but with the impending release of Wii Fit, this would be a great way to attract some of those "hardcore" gamers.
3. Players' choice titles. Hi, Zelda! Could I interest you in a new price tag? Say, $19.99?
   

• Better Control Options
  
1. Custom sensitivity being a standard for each game.
2. Classic controller support being a (you guessed it), standard as well.
3. GameCube controller support for each Nintendo-made game.
   

There you have it, Nintendo - the Aces up your sleeve. Wanna take me to Vegas? This time, we'll ditch my date with Microsoft.


Sony steps up to the plate,

Coming up next...

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Link of the Day

http://sarcasticgamer.com/wp/index.php/2008/03/bfbcs-dlc-is-just-plain-bs.html

Boycott EA and Battlefield: Bad Company!

Why pay real money for an in-game item that has "no advantage" what-so-ever? Perhaps I should have asked that question someone that plays World of Warcraft.

All-in-all, it's just another reason to hate EA.

For the record, the BFBC: Beta sucks; shitty movement, poor gun sounds, and seriously horrid map/level design. If you don't want to boycott the game because of EA's "rich" idea, simply boycott it because of shoddy game development.

Have at it!

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'Til (Red Ring of) Death Do Us Part...

Microsoft's Xbox 360 has some serious step climbing if it wants to (continue?) come out on top. For the most part, what Microsoft is doing is being done right; but damn it, even the prettiest of girls need make-up sometimes.

My brain is being lazier today than usual - I can't even count the blinking red lights on my 360 (kidding)...

...Now a minute and a half later, I've realized that what each console needs is some f***ing POWERTHIRST. I'm not saying that Nintendo needs a Wii-mote made of biceps or that Sony needs a processor made from a spinning wheel and Kenyans; but...nevermind, that processor idea rocks.


With the lack of a hardcore announcer and some illustrations, I'll just do this the old-fashioned, semi-editorial way:

• Redo the multiple 360 SKUs, again.
  
1. Get rid of the "Core" package.
2. Price drop the "Pro" to $299 and the Elite for $399. Each comes packaged with a copy of Lego Star Wars II (read).
3. Simply bundle the "Limited" Halo Edition it with a copy of Halo 3 and maintain the price tag of $399.
   

• Microsoft should buy Clover Studios (now PlatinumGames)
1. MS' portfolio of Xbox 360 games includes Crackdown and Forza Motorsport 2. Those of you who say otherwise need to learn about this thing called, "exclusivity."
2. Okami was easily one of the best games on PS2. Those eager fans who ironically have yet to make a next-gen console purchase, will flock to the 360 knowing that behind the shadows of Gears of War and Mass Effect lies a gem from Clover.
   

• Utilize the acquisition of Rare, Ltd.
1. Awesome games are not being made any more. Fix it. Please.
   
2. Use the Rare license to spawn sequels of known, awesome games (like Banjo-Kazooie and Conker) to free up development for new (IPs) first-party titles.

• Put my money where your "organization" is!
1. As cool as the Fall Update was, there's still some things left to sort out. It's frustrating scrolling through 400 (or so) games with the absence of a "Sort" feature.
2. Make each background (per blade) customizable. Some people actually paid for a theme - it would be nice to grant them the ability to put images where they see fit.

• Find the middle-ground between Microtransactions and your consumer base.
1. My proposal is a one-time, annual fee for unlimited Marketplace downloads for movies, music, and television. Now it's a matter of finding a price point. Another $20 a year can be more than a steal.
2. Both Gears of War and Halo 3 have accomplished the "free content...after (insert date here)." This needs to become a standard for games. Now all you have to do is find, wait for it...another medium! How about 120 days?
   

• Perform (monthly) price-checks and changes on Xbox Live Arcade titles.
1. The best-sellers shouldn't be in the Bargain Bin. Come to think of it, "Bargain Bin" is just a nice way of saying, "This game sucks - even for $5."
   
2. Expansion packs for arcade games should follow suit to the second bulleted item listed above. I'm not paying the 100 (whatever) points for my extra costumes for 3D Mini Golf. Come to think of it, I don't know anyone who would.

• WILD CARD: New Game Fuel.
1. Halo 3 Game Fuel (from Mountain Dew) was bad ass...and history repeats itself.
2. Well, then Halo 3 would suck! Oh, wait a minute.
3. Look - Gears of War 2 is out this November. I can see it now..."Gears of War Fuel: Now available in CHAINSAW!"

Not entirely "new," I suppose.

Thank you, Nintendo. Now get to the bullpen.


Coming up next...


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Theory of Evolution - Courtesy of 2P Start

The "Next-Gen" Trio Blog

Perhaps the title is a bit misleading, as Nintendo "is not what's next; it's what's new."

Starting later today, I'll be sharing my thoughts on what each of the "Next/New-Gen" console manufacturers needs to do for a successful year.

Kicking off the trio will be Microsoft (alphabetical order).










The standards will be as follows:

• A presentable (bulleted/numbered) list of no higher than ten (10) items for each blog.
• Citations are required for clarification and reference purposes.
• Each respective console's blog is granted one (and only one) "Flame War" argument.

Microsoft gets the call to the bullpen,

Coming up next...

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